Hohoho! There's been some pretty awesome gigs at Koko the past week but unfortunately there's been quite a few idiot costumers as well so I didn't get to fully enjoy the live music from behind the bar. The best acts were both French, Yann Tiersen and SebastiAn!
I worked on Saturday and didn't get home until lunchtime on Sunday and ever since I've been sick. I have barely gotten out of my bed. So all I've been doing is lurking about on BBC and drinking whiskey. Nothing too exciting... (I'm so bored I'm considering running out dancing naked in the street)
Anyway BBC reminded me of a part of myself which I seem to have forgotten. I am a rock chick at heart. But sometimes I forget.
Rock stole a piece of my soul when I was younger and never gave it back. It's weird though because I never seemed to fit in with the rock crowd because I'm not awesomely cool and I look stupid in leather or denim jackets and I don't head bang. Yet I love the music more than anything else. Despite that I haven't really listened to proper rock properly for quite sometime and there's a reason for that.
But the last couple of weeks I've been listening to Black Sabbath, Led Zeppelin, Arthur Brown, Deep Purple, Iron Maiden, Jimi Hendrix, Frank Zappa, Motörhead and all the bands I used to love back in the days. The thing I realized was that I understand it so much better now. Obviously my understanding of the English language wasn't as good back then but I remember falling for different pieces of lyrics anyway. In Iron Man for example I loved "Nobody wants him, they just turn their heads. Nobody helps him, now he has his revenge". I didn't understand the meaning of the entire song from just the lyrics but somehow I got it anyway. Maybe that is why I love rock so much. Because it is all about expressing something with all means possible. It's not just the lyric or the melody it is there in every heartbeat. You can feel the discontent, anger and heartache in the guitars as well as the drums and the vocals.
Something I understand now when I'm older is all the political criticism and rage in some of the songs, something I definitely didn't get as a ten yearold. But I think that might also be a reason why I never felt part of the rock crowd in Sweden. My friends who liked rock were all about black hair, and beasts and devils and heavy metal seemed to go hand in hand with fake satanism. I tried all of that but couldn't do it. I'm not hardcore in that sense and I like to run around in dresses and wear colorful clothes. And so I felt very alienated from the music I loved the most. Strange that how you can feel so alienated from something so close to your own heart.
But as I grew up my view on rock and heavy metal changed and I realized that it's not just about beasts and motorbikes there's a lot more to it. The things I related to back then and relate to today is something completely different from what my friends saw in the very same music. Now I realize my view on rock is different from people around me, different but not wrong. I realize that I have the right to love it despite not being cool enough in some people's eyes. Despite the fact that I don't crucify animals and other morbid stuff. (some people have the most fucked up view on what rock is and I seem to have grown up around some of the worst)
The annoying thing is that I get in a very peculiar state of mind when I listen to good classic rock albums. I get completely lost in my own mind. It's very similar to being high, trapped in your own head with the occasional rush of total happiness and pleasure. It's very odd I tell you. I mean music in general, especially live music does that to me only that when it comes to rock it's total. It's complete. So strange but boy do I love it!! It is really like a drug because I don't want to work or talk to people I just want to listen to my music. I even get withdrawal symptoms.. It's ridiculous really... See what I mean here I am ranting like a looney, I've clearly been trapped in The Crazy World of Arthur Brown for way too many hours now! I'm gonna loose my mind if I don't get out of here soon! Oh well, shit happens..